post christmas post

home.
for about a month now.
it's been wonderful.
probably the happiest i've been in awhile.
and i am loving it.
still no job yet, though i did have a promising interview last week, so we'll see.
working out.
counseling.
grad school prospects.
family.
new friends.
a good community.
god is providing.
life is good.

a new life.

i've decided to leave colorado. come home, find a job, change my life.
this will be a new and interesting journey.
i'm excited.
scared.
nervous.
sad.
missing my friends and kids in colorado.
but God is here and he's promised to take care of me.
so i'll be okay.
not sure what anything will look like yet.
except my new room, which will very soon be green.
also, my niece was born today.
and my dad got a job.
all kinds of exciting things.
we'll see what's next.

freedom.

rob bell is amazing. last wednesday, i had the privilege of hearing him speak at a theater in denver. i was encouraged. i was inspired. i left a different person. he spoke about how in ancient times, people worshiped hundreds of gods, and were constantly trying to keep them happy in order to have good lives, making them slaves in essence. and aren't we still worshipping the same gods, only calling them by different names? we are still slaves to tons of things. the past. our guilt. shame. what we are. what we're not. WE DON'T HAVE TO LIVE LIKE THAT. we can live in the freedom of redemption, because it is already finished. we are no longer slaves to anything, but can embrace the salvation which has already happened. and jesus doesn't remember our sins. how great is that? it was an amazing experience. i'm currently reading rob's first book, velvet elvis. if you haven't read it, i highly recommend the experience. also, sex god, and his third which will be coming out in december.

"If it is true, if it is beautiful, if it is honorable, if it is right, then claim it. Because it is from God. And you belong to God."
-Rob Bell

heaven.

so my church here, flatirons? it's amazing. we've been doing this series about heaven and hell and death and why bad things happen...it's so great. and encouraging. it's really putting things into a larger perspective which is great for someone who can get bogged down in details quickly. the pastor is so real, and he just throws it out there. no sugar coating at all. and it's really striking a chord with some of the girls here. how do you try to explain sin to a girl who's been raped? not an easy task. good thing Jesus is way better at communication than me.
things are generally good. this weekend was tough. there is tension in the house, and the girls have no idea how to do confrontation with love. or confrontation period. times are tough :) but God is good. and faithful. and the breaking down of my soul and my issues in the midst of this ministry is so good when you have Jesus to hold you and carry you through it.
it snowed in the mountains yesterday. beautiful! and i get to snowboard in them a bunch. i am definitely excited. i'm thinking that fall and winter in denver are going to be pretty spectacular...

update on david.

so we found him. and he's struggling. sad to say, he has left the leadtime program, and will not be coming back to colorado. and i am devastated.
things i'm feeling:
hurt that he didn't talk to me about this
sad that he won't be here
worried about his emotional health
anger at the way he chose to deal
i'm hoping he's alright. but he's not ready to talk. so i'm waiting and praying. please pray. thanks.

david

so...my friend david who came to the leadtime program with me from camp...he's missing. he was supposed to come back sunday night, but no one has seen or talked to him for quite some time, and we have no idea what happened to him. please pray. we're all starting to freak out a bit.

home.

so, this weekend i got to go home to chicago (naperville) to see the fam, and my sister and brother in law who i haven't seen in ten months, and my nephew who i had never met. let me tell you...he is precious. i've never been in love with someone or something that fast before. he smiles and laughs constantly, and everything makes him happy. he's amazing, and we're already best friends. it's been good to come home. strange...i feel older already than when i was last here. but it was good to see people and places. it's taking me awhile to ease into my new job and new life in colorado. part of me doesn't want to let go of camp...because it's safe...because it's great...because i miss the relationships i had there this summer. but i know god has great things in store for this year. i just have to trust him, and let him take care of everything. right? right.

leadtime...initial thoughts.

oh friends. what have i gotten myself into? this is seriously the craziest thing i've ever committed myself to. in the words of rohan..."you're awesome, but this year is going to be hell." seriously. these kids are hurting. and intense. and they can't be left alone. ever. they have no privileges. they're sneaky and conniving and manipulative. and they're broken. and they need jesus. wow. this year...it really is going to break me harder than i ever knew. and i can't wait. the community around me has been amazing so far. quality people dedicated to these kids who continuously slap them in the face. this is the realest group of people i've ever been with. the most honest and open and raw. i love them. i'm excited to see what God does...he's already teaching me things. it's going to be the worst year, and i'm going to love it.

transitions.

Camp is ending on Saturday. I had my exit interview today, as well as our final devo together as Team C's. It was nice to be able to share what I've been learning this summer. God has really been teaching me about trust and patience over the last few months. I came not knowing where I'd be this fall, and God has worked out all the details and plans so that I can have a job, a place to live, and an amazing experience that happens to be exactly what I was looking for. It never ceases to amaze me when God takes care of everything. It's been so good to rest in that peace and grace this summer, knowing he would provide the perfect thing for me. I love that about God. It'll be a crazy transition, driving out Sunday for about 20 hours with my friend from camp who is also doing the LeadTime program. Starting right away with team building...jumping into a new intentional community. But God knows what we need. And I'm trusting he'll provide the rest and processing time we need to do well in this new part of life. I'm excited...nervous...scared...excited. I think it's going to be better than I could ever expect.

Denver?

So...my first post. I've decided to give this thing a try. Xanga is dying, and I suppose Blogspot seems a bit more grown up to me. This is my third summer working at Frontier Ranch (Mission Springs) in beautiful Santa Cruz, CA. It's been an adventure for sure, and the adventure continues soon after camp ends. I received the news today that I've been placed in Denver, CO for a program called LeadTime. It's going to be an intense year, but I am more than ready for it. God is leading me through such an amazing time of growth, and I am so excited to see where this all goes. So! That's what's next for me. Pictures and more details to follow soon...

-jr