a new year.

i feel lethargic.
i need a freaking job already.
i want to create things.
i have a corner full of projects just waiting to be worked on.
i have shelves full of books i am longing to read.
tell me to quit being lazy.
i cannot sleep.
maybe it's because i have nothing to wake up for on a regular basis?
yeh...and the fact that my mind refuses to shut off.
brain...seriously...calm down.
or maybe it's because my heart is coming alive in ways i haven't felt for a long time.
that's a nice change.
so many surprises for me at home.
i did not think i would be this happy.
i want to learn more about jesus...like all the time.
and i want to be fully engaged...enamoured...engulfed in him.
prayer is so good for my soul.
there's a bit of fear i think...
but god's got it.