questions.

"Katy stands at the top of the stairs
As she's leaving her father stares
What has she come to? Another boy she runs to tonight
Powerless he just shakes his head
Disappointed and off to bed
But he won't be sleeping cause the hours she's keeping are not right
She's asking a question, how will I be?
After this next one eventually leaves me
How can a man be all that they say when all that I know
Is men run away? I think I lose just a little bit of me in every man that I see.
Danny's been out now for 7 days
Funny how he thought the price had been paid on a past he hates to talk about
It's everything wrong about him
He goes back home to a battle field and starts to drink as some kind of a shield
For the anger instilled in him and their looks are killing him now
He's asking a question
How will I be when it comes down to the end and memories still haunt me?
How can He have forgiveness that flows when no one forgives me
Yet it's Jesus they know
I think I lose just a little bit of me in this family that won't see
A crowd of confusion gathers round watching the light as he slowly goes out
After all they've talked about everything's coming out now
Their anger turns to dead and gone
Hearts start to feel what feels so wrong and as the time starts passing by and hours turn to days in their heads they can still hear Him say
I came for your questions of what you don't know
But you can't see the answers unless I go
So give me your hatred and give your diseased
Give me your tired and I'll take them with me
Cause I'm hanging here losing every part of me
Just to open your eyes to what you would never see
And to answer your questions there's no place that I'd rather be."

-Jon McLaughlin, Questions

this song really captures the human condition, i think.
i mean, not everyone's story is exactly like this.
but we all have hurts that shape us.
questions that go unanswered by the people we love most.
seeking validation in worldly things...in people who will most definitely fail us.
in money.
in work.
in our accomplishments.
we've all been there.
we're all still there.
i've been there.
it took me twenty-two years to find that validation in God.
and no, i'm not being sappy.
or cheesey.
or lame.
a real relationship with jesus is anything but.
and yes, i still struggle.
every day.
but i am a different person today than i was just a year ago.
just eight months ago, even.
and it's because i found myself through the experiences i've had.
and i found my heart again.
and i realized that i can't be the person i want to be, the person i have to be, without him.
and life is better now than it ever has been.
this world is scary.
and weird.
and terrible.
and people will continue to break my heart.
but i know that i can be healed.
and that's the best news i've ever gotten.